Search This Blog

Saturday, June 2, 2012

We Are Weirdos

We are weird in our culture and we are ok with that.  :)

We don't vaccinate, go to the doctor that often (if ever), and we homeschool.  Those three things there just touch the surface of our weirdness but it already sets us apart from a lot of people we know. 

Even though we are generally ok with how most people will treat us when they find these things out, sometimes it is just hard to be weird.  Like at the doctors here.  If we were at home there wouldn't be an issue.  We have a wonderful doctor who understands why we do what we do and supports us.  Here?  Not so much.  At all.

We have very, very personal reasons for the decisions we have made.  Some are easier to explain than others.  People either try to understand, totally understand or automatically think we are terrible parents for the choices we make.  Usually we are ok with it all.  Sometimes it wears us thin.

Michael and I have a healthy amount of doubt in the medical community.  We both love learning about medical stuff and would probably both be in the medical field if given the opportunity.  We wouldn't be your typical medical people though that is for sure.  :)

Look at our birth track record.  

Sunny - The doctor I was seeing knew that I was low in progesterone, but didn't think it was important to give me any even after I asked repeatedly.  He was rude and heartless when he told us our baby was gone.  He didn't give me any choice about the d&c.  I guess that isn't all his fault.  I blindly followed what he told me without educating myself.  He did not inform us of complications during the d&c that later caused me terrible pain and sickness.  The nurse eventually told Michael after he called because he was afraid.  No one was human enough to tell me my milk might come in and how to deal with that.  He told me at my month check up that I was still too emotional to have relations with my husband and I should wait a year to try to have another baby.

Johnathon - Was check repeatedly by numerous nurses and doctors after the wreck, which we think might have led to my water breaking early.  I wasn't allowed to walk around after my water had broken even though his head was engaged because of hospital policy at the time.  Every time the doctor checked me I was much less dilated than when the nurses checked me.  I had a terrible experience with stadol.  I was told I was lying by nurses when I was telling them I was having contractions and the monitor wasn't showing them.  My epidural was traumatic and they let it run out while I was being sewn up from my c-section.  I was told in recovery that I would always have to have c-sections and I could only have three children.  A nurse told me that I could never breastfeed Johnathon.

Gabriel - I was induced because I was close to my due date and they wouldn't let me try for a VBAC if I went over.  I was messed with continuously because again the monitor wouldn't show my contractions.  I was bothered by the anesthesiologist constantly about needing to have an epidural.  His actual birth was very scary because no one would tell me what was going on and why they were making me change positions and why so many people were touching me.

Now this is just the bad.  I didn't go into the good things that happened because the good things didn't factor into our decision to change to a homebirth with Bella.  It was the things listed above, the times that we were lied to, left in the dark, or traumatized that led to our decision.   

See how our decisions are made?  We trust.  They let us down continuously.  We educate ourselves and change our minds.  Our birth choices are only one of our decisions that have been overhauled because of our experiences. 

Our way of thinking isn't very different from other choices you make.  If you eat something you don't like, you might try it again just to be sure, but eventually you will just write it off as something you can't stomach.  That is how we feel about most of the medical community.  We just can't stomach it.

So from now on, before you judge, please take a moment to think about the "whys" that would lead to someones decision not to do something that is the norm.  We don't do these things to make you uncomfortable or to buck the system....although it is fun to be different sometimes.  We do them because we have prayed and truly believe this is what is best for our children and our family.

Weird or not, our kids are happy, healthy and whole.  *That* is what matters.

No comments:

Post a Comment